We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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