as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
