Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Four minutes until I can fart!
it was like eating out sand paper
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
