Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
