Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
