i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
