well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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