So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
