her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
