she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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