He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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