Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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