do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
