is your mom at the bar?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
