we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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