Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
