whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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