so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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