We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
