I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
