6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
