If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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