I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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