i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Vodka?
Forever.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
