have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
