I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
