Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
