its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
