I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
