That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
