Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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