I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
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dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
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Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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