My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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