your parents love me but you hate me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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