did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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