VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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