I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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