My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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