So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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