office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
