how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
