Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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