yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You took a bar mat shot.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
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IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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