I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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