I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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