I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Who wears a wallet chain?!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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