I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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