So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
