i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
porn star boner night. come get it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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