So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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