your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
