Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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