I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
