that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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