You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
