his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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