Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
