You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
