Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Every concussion has its silver lining
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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